This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
