Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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