Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
