yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
