sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
