We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
