guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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