who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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