i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.