You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays