Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
