Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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