I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
