broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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