dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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