Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
