Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
