remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
