If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
