this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
