physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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