I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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