There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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