How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize