Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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