i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
