If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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