So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
