Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
