This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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