you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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