fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize