Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
