I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
