If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When are your genitals available?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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