Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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