i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
