How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
