not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
