i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
