The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
