We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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