Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Randomize
