Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize