drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The beer is more important than you right now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
