hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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