thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I bet he comes in French.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
