no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
