You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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