Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
