he was CRYING into my vagina
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
