John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize