I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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