I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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