Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
ttyl tear gas
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
