Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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