it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
