No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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