Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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