I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
