Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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