please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm like, not good at living.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
