Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
