I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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