she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize