your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
