Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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