If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
