U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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